29 August 2007

Men Rules

This is a call out from me and all the other men in the world to you women. We love you, but there are some rules we need to lay down!

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- Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way!

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- Crying is blackmail. Don't do it.

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- Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

- Subtle hints do not work!

- Strong hints do not work!

- Obvious hints do not work!

- JUST SAY IT!

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Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

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- If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

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- If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

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- You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.

- Not both.

- If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

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- Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

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- Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

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- ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.

- Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

- We have no idea what mauve is.

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- If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

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- If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

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- If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

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When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

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- You have enough clothes.

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- You have too many shoes.

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- I am in shape. Round is a shape.

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Thank you for reading. I realize that I might lose most, if not all of my female readers after this post. Humph...

26 comments:

Capt. Arab said...

Funny.. But you are sad !!!!

ammaro.com said...

What!? You're saying you DONT AGREE??? DONT LIE!

BTW; All comments need to be taken with a sense of humor... Otherwise my wife won't let me sleep inside the house tonight :p

The Dynamic said...

Hilarious and SO TRUE!

MSB said...

Christopher Columbus thought he was in India!

ammaro.com said...

Technicality!

N. said...

lol, everytime I read this I get a good laugh out of it. Sigh, if only some women would consider..

Bahraini Diva said...

loooool!
hint ; dear, you need help
strong hint ; get help
some thing to do ; visit a shrink now!

:)

Homer Simpson said...

you just say that cuz ur a women!

MSB said...

dont generalize gents... i'm female yet:

- i hate shopping
- i love sports
- i would NEVER ask a guy if he thinks i'm fat or if what i'm wearing looks good!

the rest is just funny! :)

ammaro.com said...

n; yes, unfortunately for us, they dont!

bah diva; eeeeem, the advice is pretty serious, maybe you should take it to mind :p

homer; yes, women, hmph...

msb; youre like, the exception to the rule.

KJ said...

- If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.


INDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED

Bahraini Diva said...

looool :D
you, bad boy you ..

ReKoO said...

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! @ "Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials."

wallah this is the most funniest post i have evr read! :D

good work Ammaro ;)

Dynamic Deeds said...

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL big time on the last point.
"I am in shape, round is a shape" =P!!

I must be FAIR most of the points are so true! =P but again us women will always remain women! and you must admit MEN cannot live with out us =P nor can we live with them =D
Nice post! =D

lizardo said...

- If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.


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- If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.


and i thought that im treating her badly!

Eyad the Great said...

ammaro, how is the back seat of you car?

thats where ur sleeping tonight, hahah.

hmmm, I didnt say anything :P

minus said...

Dykes own.

Mrs Dynamite aka Lorena +Wonder Women... said...

LOOOOOOOOOOOOL Ammaroooooo!! LOOOOOOL Wallah I will Post some thing to help women from the man! LOL just wait!

Wink!

Sunshine said...

i thot pumpkin was a veggie?

moon-light7 said...

okaaaay, ur being a tiny, wingy, little bit harsh here...but then, men are harsh sometimes!
I'm sure u'll be sleeping home tonight, which shows u something men tend to forget about women most of the time;)
Cool post:) although I sometimes wonder why don't women lay rules like men do!

Nora Cassandra said...

Man for sure you just gained a female reader! :D Love the way you laid things down! You made me smile…

I agree with everything you said but I think my husband still has to suffer with me asking him if I’m fat! :P As I have to suffer he telling about the new football player the team got for 10th time (and still listen with a smile)! :P

Fayoora said...

Hahah! how about some women rules?? :P

ill make sure to do that

Semaj said...

oh, man this is great.

GreY said...

ROFLMAO ! man if i follow your rules you gonna get me kicked out of the house !

ammaro.com said...

haha guys (and girls) thanks for the replies, really :) All great, needless to say I had to sleep on the sofa last night :p

jk, hope you all enjoyed them :)

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