29 October 2007

Women talk too much & Men don't listen enough

Men don't listen.

To women, that is. I don't understand why, it's not like we do it on purpose; it's just something about the way we're made or so. I'm sure most of you appreciate the fact that, although part of the same general species (ie, human), men and women are different. All that talk of equality and being the same and so on is nonsense.

Think of it this way; all men (or almost all of them) love sports, love to play with electronics, gadgets and gizmos, get emotional about their cars and nothing else, usually have a tough exterior, and so on. All women, on the other hand (or almost all of them), are more in touch with their emotions, love clothes and colors and make up, go nuts over shopping, always talk about their feelings, etc.

Sure, the world is not all black and white so not every single man and woman fall under those stereotypes, but hey, you have to admit, many are pretty close. And some who don't fit the descriptions at all just might need a sex change.

Anyhoo...

Here's one thing about women. They talk too much.

Yep, whether you like to admit it or not, you women talk too much. Some women reading this right now are going to throw a fit, get angry about what I wrote, and then go meet some of their friends to talk about it. Yes. Talk, talk, talk... Yadda, yadda, yadda.. It's not your fault though; it's been scientifically proven that as women, your heart beat is linked to the amount you talk. If you stop talking for a long enough time period, you just die; so talking ends up being a survival instinct, I guess. And women love to talk about their feelings, how their day went, about their feelings, how they feel guilty for (over)eating a WHOLE plate of salad, and again, yes, about their feelings.

Now us men, we have better things to do. We need to be able to focus on the game showing on TV right now. We need to be able to make sure our brand new HD-DVD player and full surround system is hooked up the right way to our Plasma. We need to make sure the oil in the car is topped up. We need to test out the drill again just to make sure it's still working. You know, 'manly' things. And unfortunately, us men don't have the capacity in our minds to do more than one thing at a time (unless we're driving, during which we can do almost 10 things at once; ie, eat, talk on the phone, change the CD in the deck, shift from 3rd to 4th gear while overtaking two trailers all at the same time).

Unfortunately for Woman, she actually get married to Man. And when they both get home, Woman feels the urge to talk (because her heart-beat is slowing down and she needs to get it up and running again). So there goes Woman, talking about her day, how it went, the multitude of emotions she managed to go through, what she thinks of her co-worker's new dress etc, etc, etc..

Yadda.

Yadda.

Yadda..

So Man, obviously needing to attend to the fact that the quality of his surround system doesn't sound quite right, decides to, yup, 'it's time to play around with the wires'. You see, Man is a big child. He wants to play around with things. He doesn't want to sit and listen to complex issues about feelings, intricate detail about how someone's day could go, what they ate, what bag they wore with what shoes, etc.

So what does Man do? He stops listening. He blanks out completely. He looks like he's listening to Woman, but infact, his mind is somewhere completely different. He say 'yes' and 'okay' and 'then?' everytime Woman pauses for a few seconds, just to give her the impression that he's paying complete attention, but in reality, his one track mind is completely occupied with which cable is supposed to connect the front left speaker to the corresponding output port on the DVD player.

Mind you, he doesn't do it on purpose. No matter how hard Man tries, he just can't hear Woman. He sees her talking, he sees her lips moving, and he can pretty much be sure that something is coming out of her mouth. But in his head he could be hearing anything from the Gypsy Kings greatest hits CD to the sound effects from the latest Transformers movie. The odd three or four words would make it into his mind, however, so just incase she asks, "Did you even hear what I said?!", he would reply by composing a sentence sprinkled with those words and prove that he way, infact, listening.

It happened again, today. My wife called me when I was coming home from work, and the conversation (well, the part I heard anyway) went something like this:

"Hi honey, can you ..... by the supermarket ... get .... ...... ......, some tomatoes....., .... ,..... ,...... ..... , ok dear? Thanks. Bye"

Now, being the simple minded man that I am, I figured that I had actually heard the full conversation. Mind you, if you are not aware of the superpower us men have (ie, drowning out female conversation) then it can be at your disadvantage. Harness this power, however, and it will bring you much joy and tranquility in your life.

Anyway, back to the story. So now i'm at the supermarket, buying what she wanted; I pick up the tomates and... Hmm.. I can be pretty sure she mentioned FIVE items. Why do I only seem to remember one? Umm..

Ok, time to call her again. Uhh, honey, what did you say you wanted?

"Get ..... fat-free white cheese,..... ..... ..... tomatoes, and ..... ...., with the .... .... next to the .... counter, ok? bye..."

So I go to the cheese section, but realize there's like 3 million different varieties of fat-free cheese. Dammit, another phone call. What was that cheese you wanted hon? And what else?

"Yeah, .... was the Kraft fat-free cheese, and by the way, ..... ..... ....., .... you find a pack of ...., and a family pack diet coke"

I swear to god, I must have called her 6 times today while I was in the supermarket.. To pick up 5 things!

We don't do it on purpose, women. We swear we don't.

37 comments:

Oreo Madness said...

seriously, i'm laughing my ass off right now!!!!!!!! ;p

we do get to be a complete drama queens sometimes, but you just have to admit that men do get to be like that when they're emotional and stuff.
especially when they make a big deal out of nothing.

nice post
luved it

'Grey' said...

Dont hate me if i say that in my house she is the silent one and i do the yada yada yada ..

i*maginate said...

I don't quite play into this women vs. men/men vs. women thing. Those in tune know how to handle each other, I would think, especially in marriage, tomatoes or not.

C'est la vie!! said...

u c ...i can tell ur married...single men out there they tend to want to fix the problems women tell them...like we tell them our probs and then they want to tell us how to fix it...or what we did wrong...

we dont want u to fix it...we dont even want ur opinion...we just want u to listen to us vent..and a nod, yes, or no suffices for us to know u actually heard what we said...

but u my friend...u took it to the extreme, u like completely space out whenever ur wife opens her mouth...thats funny!! lmao!!!

someguyfromplanet said...

but don't you think woman who talks too much on bed is cool? esspecially when she's being religious, like, "ow god ow god yes ow god..."
heheh.

Anonymous said...

hahaha that was funny, i space out when i take her to do HER shoppin, sometimes to the extent she would switch topics and im still noddin and she gets me

now she just asks me... "where r u" and smiles

Lamya said...

I text shopping items to the husband so he can check and re check and also get to use his ultra cool phone/mp3/pda/camera/swimming pool :) smart women know how to utilise typical male behaviour..:) and why is it that men turn into attention seeking "babies" when women have their own wires and cool gadgets to fiddle with?

KJ said...

You know what's funny? In my household it is the opposite LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

asoom said...

I don't get why some guys don't enjoy listening sometimes. In reality some of the most talkative people I ever met in my life were Arab men.

Sunshine said...

apparently men cant read well either :P

did u by any chance read: why men dont lilsten and women cant read maps?

Princess Ambiguous said...

Haha I found this hilarious, although I must say that research has shown that men and women report emotions in the same scale, as in they get just angry/sad/happy as women do, the difference lies in how they display it, men have a tendency not to show their emotions as much as women do, but then again that's basic socialisation I would say.

Btw, I also blank out people when they talk for longer than a certain amount of time, I have a short attention span and I end up getting lost in thought, which is truly bad when you're required to give your opinion on a situation at the end, because I usually can't remember enough to base my opinion on!

ammaro.com said...

oreo; we aren't emotional. we are men. we are tough. WOOF WOOF

grey; im telling you dude, that gender operation doesnt so bad right now, does it?

i*maginate; tomatoes make all the difference dear. dont deny it.

c'est la vie; .......
..
....
huh? wait. did you say something?

someguy; uuumm... ok dude. whatever turns you on is your own business.

anon; im glad you understand

lamya; not attention seeking; we just know you cant handle anything electronic/technical/mechanical. so just leave it to us.

kj; she goes shopping?

asoom; oh, you think thats bad? you should meet arab girls then.

sunshine; we can read! just not listen. and no, i havent read it. any good?

princess; like i said, learn from us. catch a few words here and there and use them in your answer :p

Sunshine said...

yeah very good, gives u insight into why we'r strangely different.. the writers r pretty good, alan and barbara Pease.. they have a whole seires of why men... and women... books

ammaro.com said...

ill soon have a series of why men and women posts too :p

venella_lover said...

well.i don't agree with you,i knew some men when they call me i try to avoid it from much talkin they do
and i think when woman talk it something make much sense

A.K said...

Just want to add one thing. And I really believe that.
Every man has a woman inside him.
Plus every woman has a man inside her.

N. said...

Instead of calling I actually keep a list (an sms sometimes) of the items they need at home. EVEN then, sometimes I have to call to be sure about what item to get! lol, nice post though.

KJ said...

hahaha no I wish. She is out shopping with her friends, hanging out with her friends, doing all sorts of womanly stuff. I stay home to clean and wash and mop and buy groceries (she doesn't know the difference between the cheeses, just like you) and cook and stuff. hehhee

KJ said...

BTW I am not married just to set the record straight!

moon-light7 said...

Ok! now I get why my dad almost always brings the wrong thing! although we describe it specifically like 3 to 5 times!
And now I know why mom asks us to remind dad of whatever we need about a hundred times so he could remember! and I thought my mom was insistant!

But you know what? you're right, not all men and woman are like that. I don't like talking a lot, although for different reasons than men. cuz while they think about DVDs and Sound Systems, if a women is silent, she's probably thinking about more serious things :p or maybe she's sad or hurt!
On the other hand, I've known a man who could talk and talk and talk....Mashalla:p I would sometimes fall asleep while he talks heheheh :p

a.k is right, there's a man in every woman and a woman in every man!

Confessions of a moody crab said...

LMAO!!!! I found this post extremely hilarious. I'm the opposite tho...I don't talk that much and that kinda irks my boyfriend (who on the other hand talks like there is no tomorrow). Nice post...

ammaro.com said...

vanella; well, i think theyre tryna get something from you in that case :p

AK; umm.. i really dont get that

N; helpful comment of the year. thank you N

KJ; so who lives with you?

moonlight; hehe, well theres your explaination!

confessions; you guys are an exception :p

KJ said...

My sis.

ammaro.com said...

hehe, cant mess with the females :p

Jawahir Jewels (JJ) said...

again a nice post ... the minute i read women talk to much i was formulating a reply that the women do that coz men dont listen and viola u mentioned it... i enjoyed reading it .... maybe you will enjoy reading my blog take a peek ... ;-)

coralbead said...

U know, in my place, there are workshops and seminars for married couples for this problem...

Anonymous said...

I'm a woman and I absolutely believe women talk too much. I try to be friends with women, but when you start a conversation, all they do is talk about themselves, and rarely come up for air. They can just talk and talk for 20 minutes straight. As an after thought, they may ask how you're doing. I can't stand people like this, but there are so many.

Roonii ♡ said...

My favoriate part of the post: Yes. Talk, talk, talk... Yadda, yadda, yadda.. It's not your fault though;

Dudee!!! i loved it xD

made me laugh so hard!!

but ur kinda rite, i talk a lot xD

but ppl do lsn ;)

Anonymous said...

May your passion be the meat of corn stuck between your molars, unceasingly reminding you there's something to tend to.

Anonymous said...

But right away I contain be stricken to put faith that the uninjured domain is an riddle, a non-toxic poser that is made regretful not later than our own fuming strive to spell out it as allowing it had an underlying truth.

Anonymous said...

I think I allready have been informed about this issue
at bar yesterday by a mate, but at that moment
it didn't caugh my attention.

Anonymous said...

Im my experience, I cant get men to shut up. So this is more directed to guys like my brothers, I agree that maybe you guys dont do it on purpose but then how can we not think you guys are super dumb if you call us 7 times to get 5 things from the grocery store? Oh but you can remember baseball stats and football game dates? Its as frustrating for us trust me.

Anonymous said...

Be not indignant that you cannot win others as you predisposition them to be, since you cannot make tracks yourself as you hope to be

Anonymous said...

bah! we just need someone with good understanding and brains to spend our lifetime with...today again a women was driving a car and wanted to jump in line at the junction...suprise suprise...I stop for a second for her to jump in lane walla! it takes her forever and I cant wait no more cause other cars started their own 'aura of killing' because we just pass a long wait for a green light.To make matter worse, this women drive her car-ass halfen the lane and stop!! cause she is still aint sure im giving her way!!
why?! why?! and before somebody honk my ass for giving that thing a pass, I quickly drove and block her ass back..am i the asshole??! i hope NOT!!!

6491976 said...

Your post sounds like Men come from Mars Women come from Venus.

Roberta Holden said...

Hey Ammaro, imho your comments don't really have anything to do with men vs. women, but about mindlessness in general. If people were more mindful of their speech they might filter some of their verbal diarrhea and actually say things that are worth listening to and if people were more mindful of what others had to say and of their feelings they might actually create meaningful connections. This applies equally to men and women, whether they be introverts or extroverts, talkative or quiet. The stereotypes you create of men and women are equally vapid. Sure, a lot of materialistic men and women engage in the activities you describe, but are you suggesting these superficial characters illustrate some kind of paragon of gender? Perhaps if you looked at men and women who were less engaged in a life of consumer excess you might find some depth that might undermine your stereotypes. I certainly don't fit your female stereotype, but neither would I have any interest in engaging with your male cliche. Men and women of substance both have interesting things to say and are capable of a deep empathy for the verbal and non-verbal expressions of others. I think you will find that a mindful practice will help to bridge the alienating experience you describe.
Best,
Roberta

Ammaro said...

Roberta.. I think you've managed to read too much into this. Look through the lines, this may exemplify a situation, but the post in itself borders somewhere on the edge of satire and an amusing look at stereotypes.