28 October 2007

The Perfect Job



I woke up today to the noisy, annoying buzzing of my lovely alarm. Honestly, I really couldn't be bothered to wake myself up and go to work; I was too tired, and I needed another 3 hours of sleep at least if I wanted to wake up happy and bouncy. But this was my case; wake up now or risk going to the office late, again. Uh. I forced myself up, washed up, changed, and took off on my way to the office.

The traffic gives you another reason to want to kill yourself. Everybody's temper seems up, and no one actually wants to give you the courtesy of acknowledging that the road belongs to the public in general. No, everyone seems to think that they somehow own the road, which seems to be a contagious attitude, because sooner or later I find myself cutting off people and swerving here and there like the road is mine, all mine.

Anyway, reach the office; the mood isn't great here either. After all, the weekend is over, and we're all back to work; everyone seems gloomy, no one wants to talk to anyone else, and here's me waiting for my morning cup of tea to give me a little bit of a reason to continue my stay in the office today. I know i'm going to be here working hard, stressing myself out, staying till late, and leaving the office after the sun goes down.

So i'm thinking, this isn't the life for me, no. I don't want to be stuck wasting my life away and getting my soul drained in this kind of job; not getting enough sleep, frying my nerves in the morning traffic, and squandering my life in a cold office detatched from the rest of the world.

Of course, work is important. We need to work to feel useful, and to make a bit of money at the end of the day, right? So i've decided to put down a set of rules for the kind of job I want to work at:


Timing:
Has to be from 11am, to give me enough time to sleep in and miss the morning traffic rush. I should stop working at around 1:30pm, to again, miss the afternoon rush and have enough time to use the rest of my life doing more useful things.

Weekends:
Should be three days instead of two. This is because 2 weekends as a ratio to 5 workdays isn't fair. 3-4 is closer than 2-5.

Salary:
Has to be three times what i'm getting now, because I really want to save up for that beach house in Santa Monica.

Work responsibilities:
Should not be too stressful. Job description should include reading the headlines in the newspaper, browsing the internet a little, updating my blog, and maybe a good 20 or 30 minutes of hard work.

Business Trips:
The occassional business trip to major conferences in places like Bali, Jamaica, and so on is not a big drawback.

Leave:
Annual holiday leave of around 90 days. Please note that this does not include weekends or public holidays.

Perks of the job:
Paying for my new luxury penthouse, company car (value of which should exceed $80,000 at least), my own Blackberry phone (just because it makes you look more important), and the obvious company credit card for my general expenses. Other perks also appreciated.

I guess with something like that, I wouldn't have a problem going to work every day! Great, time to start handing out my CV!

23 comments:

Blue Dress said...

Even with such ... job specs
I’m sure you will find something else that you don’t like,
we all tend to do that... no one is ever satisfied

Hasan said...

things like this is what pushed me away from the corporate world and go back to being a university student again ;)

Good luck finding your dream job!!!

Sunshine said...

let me know when you find that job.. I hope they take fresh graduates with no experience...

moon-light7 said...

Bwaaahahaha XD you killed me! but that truely is the perfect job.
And maybe if we could find a job in which we can practice what we really love and enjoy, then that would be a perfect job for me. I wouldn't mind working hard 4 something I love.

Re.Loaded Soul said...

...A special park slot in the basement, smoking in-door, Thai massage for at least 1 hour weekly and a private room to watch Spanish league.

Lulwa said...

I agree with Blue dress... We will always find something to complain about...
But if you find this kind of job, do let me know... I'm a lazy soul, and the job description suits a person like me... Only in an ideal world.

Lulwa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KJ said...

Your dream job description has a match my friend: University professor in an American university.

ammaro.com said...

blue dress; trust me, i think ill be fine :p

hasan; sure, that makes sense. but no salary :'(

moon-light7; problem is, the things i love dont make money!

re-loaded; sure, those might be good too

lulwa; sure, thats just human nature, but again, trust me, i think ill be happy with that :p

kj; i am intrigued! tell me more

Salman Al-Rahma said...

I know many people who 'enjoy' such an 'work' life. Apply (with Wasta) for Ministry of Housing or the Municipality.

Even better, get elected or selected for the next round of MPs and you will get much more than what you asked for

Joel said...

That cat picture looks cozy! I want to go to bed ASAP :)

Seroo said...

Sounds like my job!

N. said...

If you find that job, let me know we can work together!

ammaro.com said...

salman; you missed the salary part of it :p but besides that, yeah, it sounds kinda like it hehe

joel; oh hell man... i need to sleep too..

seroo; where do you work? and where do i send my cv?

Jay Cam said...

wow that traffic sounds bad!

i havent seen traffic in so long i cant remember! of course, florida is cool like that

Amu said...

lol I wish to have more days off though...but i guess the more we get the more we wont be happy :)

palo-girl said...

so it started off.. fairly realistic

but im sorry im just amused.
we're not in Lili & Lala Land my friend.
good luck though :P

i seriously cracked up on this one:
"The occassional business trip to major conferences in places like Bali, Jamaica, and so on is not a big drawback. "

wallah innak raaaaaheeee :p

i*maginate said...

How feasible is it for you to start a business? With your skills, especially in the monetary world, am sure you could conjur up some profitable ideas that don't require much investment?

i*maginate said...

I know exactly how you feel, but there is a way out, if you know how to do it.

eshda3wa said...

when u find a place like that, please tell me, i want to come work there too!

KJ said...

Do masters and PHD and go work in a university. Your off days are what the students take off (3 months holiday plus public holidays). Your working hours are just your class hours (plus ocassional marking but you can hire an assistant to grade for you). You get paid house allowance and car allowance plus a handsome salary.

moon-light7 said...

{problem is, the things i love dont make money!}

uh, don't remind me with that please, just let me dream about it if only for a little while!

Ria said...

lol - when you find something like that, give me a buzz. would be great to get even just half of what you listed. hehe. ;)