In line with my last post about stupid labels, i've had a few people wonder whether these labels are actually necessary, and whether the companies that stick them on their products really think people aren't clever enough to be able to operate them without such warnings.
Well, hate to break it to you, but some people out there are that stupid. Really really stupid. So stupid to the point that it could (and does) kill them. So, in an effort to avoid being sued by the stupid people who use their products, they put the anti-dumbass labels on them.
Anyhow, this post is about examples of real idiots, who have actually managed to get themselves killed because of not really thinking things through before doing them.
Sad? No, the ending of Titanic is sad. This is just hilarious, enjoy:
(25 May 1999, Ukraine) A 43 year-old fisherman in Kiev connected cables to the main power supply of his home, and put the other end into the river next to his house. The electric shock killed the fish, which floated belly-up to the top of the water. Clever way to fish eh?
Anyway, to get the fish, the man swam into the river, neglecting to remove the live wire, and tragically suffered the same fate as the fish.
(15 July 1999, Alabama) A 25-year-old soldier and his friends were having a high-altitude spitting contest. They were on the third floor of an apartment building, and took turns spitting out of the balcony to see who can reach the furthest. The soldier was so intent on victory that he attempted to back away from the balcony, ran towards the metal guardrail in order to add momentum to his saliva. In a tragic miscalculation, his momentum carried him right over the railing, sending him plummeting 24 feet to the concrete below.
(28 February 2000, Texas) A Houston man earned a succinct lesson in gun safety when he played Russian roulette with a .45-calibre semiautomatic pistol. (Russian Roulette is a game where you have a revolver with 1 bullet but 6 holes. The players take turns pointing the gun at their head and pull the trigger, and if you're the unlucky one, the bullet is shot, otherwise, nothing happens). The man was visiting friends when he announced his intention to play the deadly game. He apparently did not realise that a semiautomatic pistol, unlike a revolver, automatically inserts a cartridge into the firing chamber when the gun is cocked. His chance of winning a round of Russian roulette was zero, as he quickly discovered.
(21 December 1992, North Carolina)
Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, when, awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson .38 Special (a gun), which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
(3 February 1990, Washington) A man tried to commit a robbery in Renton, WA. This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by the fact that he had no previous record of violent crime, and by his terminally stupid choices as listed below:
1. The target was H&J Leather & Firearms, a gun shop.
2. The shop was full of customers, in a state where a substantial portion of the adult population is licensed to carry concealed handguns in public places.
3. To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked Police patrol car parked at the front door.
4. An officer in uniform was standing next to the counter, having coffee before reporting to duty.
Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots in the air. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, removing him from the gene pool. Several other customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire. No one else was hurt
(November 1997, Pennsylvania) Wayne Roth, 38, of Pittston, was bitten by a cobra belonging to his friend, Roger Croteau, after playfully reaching into the tank and picking up the snake. Wayne subsequently refused to go to a hospital, telling Roger, "I'm a man. I can handle it."
Falser words have seldom been spoken. Instead of a hospital, Wayne reported to a bar. He had three drinks, and enjoyed bragging that he had just been bitten by a cobra. Cobra venom is a slow-acting central nervous system toxin. He died within a few hours, in Jenkins Township, Pennsylvania.
(31 August 1995, Egypt) Six people drowned Monday while trying to rescue a chicken that had fallen into a well in southern Egypt. An 18 year old farmer was the first to descend into the 60-foot well. He drowned, apparently after an undercurrent in the water pulled him down, police said his sister and two brothers, none of whom could swim, went in one by one to help him, but also drowned.
Two elderly farmers then came to help. But they apparently were pulled by the same undercurrent. The bodies of the six were later pulled out of the well in the village of Nazlat Imara, 240 miles south of Cairo. The chicken was also pulled out. It survived.
(24 November 1999, California) One particular group of Christians attempted to follow in Jesus' footsteps more literally than most. They worked to master the secret of walking on water. Diligently, day by day, the group tried to be closer to God by making a sincere effort to walk on water. These Christians continued their unorthodox practices until the leader of this small Los Angeles group unexpectedly died while practicing in his bathtub. His wife said James spent many hours trying to perfect the technique of walking on water, but had not yet mastered the ability. He apparently drowned after slipping on a bar of soap.
If you enjoyed these, head over to the Darwin Awards for more morbid funnies