27 November 2006

Where are we going to...

I guess this post is more or less aimed at those people in their mid 20-somethings, early 30's... More or less graduated out of college, started having a taste of what the real world is like. Because obvioulsy when we are in our teens, or still in college, we have no idea what the real world is about. It doesn't really matter to us what will happen when we leave college, as we cannot concieve how the real world works.

But now that we've reached that age, we start seeing what the real world holds for us. It doesn't really matter what college degree you have; whether its from an ivy league college or otherwise. People aren't as friendly out here; unless they want something from you.. We aren't all going to grow up and become billionaires. Or even millionaires for that matter. Were slowly starting to realize this, and we angry, were furious.

Am I the only one who believes this? I don't think so. I've spoken to numerous people who share my view; but they're keeping it inside. Its a shock to us. Where are we going in our lives, what are our expectations, where do we really want to be? Turned down job offers, lower than expected salaries, broken down friendships, failed relationships.. Where are we going to? We don't even know where we will be.

You look at the people around you, the close friends you've made. You worry because you realize that these people aren't as trustworthy as you originally thought, they might not be the great people you once thought. You wonder where the friends you lost touch with are, and begin to wonder whether these are the people you should have stayed close to; they were the ones that are the most important.

The innocence of being in school or college; innocence is probably not the perfect word, probably being naive is more like it. Naive to what the future holds for us.. We don't see pain, hardships or tranquility. But we see it when we get here. And even after a night of partying, or a full day of having fun, or whatever it is you do to fill your void, you come home at the end of the day and realize, the void is still there. It still exists. At times you laugh with joy with utmost force, feeling you will be eternally happy. And suddenly you turn around and feel insecure. You see things changing, and you accept it. Then you turn around feel insecure; you hang on to the past, and realize its futility as it drifts further and further away, with nothing you can do about it.

I think the mid-age life crisis is moving back. Moving back 20 years or so; its us. Were filled with rage, filled with anger. Yet were filled with sadness and pain. We see the people around us; single moms, broken homes, homeless people. Is this the world our college lives were keeping us away from? Was that the bubble we lived in, they kept us there to keep us innocent? Naive?
Where are we going to now? You feel insecure about not knowing where you are going to be in a few years. But then get scared because you don't even know where you are now..

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