The Perfect Job

I woke up today to the noisy, annoying buzzing of my lovely alarm. Honestly, I really couldn't be bothered to wake myself up and go to work; I was too tired, and I needed another 3 hours of sleep at least if I wanted to wake up happy and bouncy. But this was my case; wake up now or risk going to the office late, again. Uh. I forced myself up, washed up, changed, and took off on my way to the office.

The traffic gives you another reason to want to kill yourself. Everybody's temper seems up, and no one actually wants to give you the courtesy of acknowledging that the road belongs to the public in general. No, everyone seems to think that they somehow own the road, which seems to be a contagious attitude, because sooner or later I find myself cutting off people and swerving here and there like the road is mine, all mine.

Anyway, reach the office; the mood isn't great here either. After all, the weekend is over, and we're all back to work; everyone seems gloomy, no one wants to talk to anyone else, and here's me waiting for my morning cup of tea to give me a little bit of a reason to continue my stay in the office today. I know i'm going to be here working hard, stressing myself out, staying till late, and leaving the office after the sun goes down.

So i'm thinking, this isn't the life for me, no. I don't want to be stuck wasting my life away and getting my soul drained in this kind of job; not getting enough sleep, frying my nerves in the morning traffic, and squandering my life in a cold office detatched from the rest of the world.

Of course, work is important. We need to work to feel useful, and to make a bit of money at the end of the day, right? So i've decided to put down a set of rules for the kind of job I want to work at:

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Timing:
Has to be from 11am, to give me enough time to sleep in and miss the morning traffic rush. I should stop working at around 1:30pm, to again, miss the afternoon rush and have enough time to use the rest of my life doing more useful things.

Weekends:
Should be three days instead of two. This is because 2 weekends as a ratio to 5 workdays isn't fair. 3-4 is closer than 2-5.

Salary:
Has to be three times what i'm getting now, because I really want to save up for that beach house in Santa Monica.

Work responsibilities:
Should not be too stressful. Job description should include reading the headlines in the newspaper, browsing the internet a little, updating my blog, and maybe a good 20 or 30 minutes of hard work.

Business Trips:
The occassional business trip to major conferences in places like Bali, Jamaica, and so on is not a big drawback.

Leave:
Annual holiday leave of around 90 days. Please note that this does not include weekends or public holidays.

Perks of the job:
Paying for my new luxury penthouse, company car (value of which should exceed $80,000 at least), my own Blackberry phone (just because it makes you look more important), and the obvious company credit card for my general expenses. Other perks also appreciated.

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I guess with something like that, I wouldn't have a problem going to work every day! Great, time to start handing out my CV!